April 6, 2017

What It Means To Be A Stay At Home Mom

I became a stay at home mom about two years ago. When I decided to leave my job, Kona was almost 2 and I was pregnant with Kai. Staying home isn't something I always knew I wanted to do, but once we had Kona, it was pretty clear. At that time I wasn't able to stay home full time, but I did cut back to 20 hours a week. When I finally put in my notice at work I felt so much relief, but also a lot of anxiety. I kept asking myself "What does it mean to be a stay at home mom?!?" Does it mean I fill our day full of crafts, play dates, preschool activities and outings? Does every meal have to be homemade? Can I take a few moments for myself during the day or do I devote every minute to my kids?  I had many worries and self doubts, I so badly wanted to do everything just right. I now know what I wanted, was to live up to unrealistic expectations. I had this idea in my head of how our days should go, what my house should look like, and what we should eat. Please believe me when I tell you, the idea I had in my head isn't anything like real life. I still feed my kids "kid food", some days I don't get dressed, there are toys scattered all over and I've never joined a play group. Sure, there are days we do fun crafts, go on outings and bake yummy treats, but it's not all day every day and that's okay. Motherhood is hard enough without us trying to live up to a fantasy world. Once I said goodbye to my unrealistic expectations I was much happier and was able to truly enjoy the day. If you feel like you're not doing enough know that you are. You are giving your kid's everything they need and more. Our children love us no matter what and that's what matters.



  1. I've stayed home for going on eight years now and I still have a pile of laundry sitting somewhere in some room and usually a mop bucket still in the kitchen when my husband walks in at the end of the day! I, too, have never joined an organized moms group. But I do love that I can read a book or play a game with the kiddos at some random time during the day, or prep our dinner before after-school activity busyness starts. Even though I sometimes struggle with not feeling or dressing as "glamourous and put together" as my mom friends who do work professional jobs, I have never regretted the decision for me to stay home with the kids. I feel blessed that I have this option. Visiting from Saturday Sharefest party.

  2. Your kids are just blessed that you are there. I have been a stay at home Mom here and there. I was so glad when I could! Enjoy!

  3. I stayed at home raising our 4 daughters until the youngest went off to college. After I sat down for a minute (Ha!) I started teaching in the elementary school they had attended. I found staying at home almost came down to one rule: go with the flow. I love how encouraging and supportive your comments are for other moms staying at home. Stopping by from Sharefest.